


Ship in a Bottle

by rmw17



Series: The Good Ship You [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Depression, Gen, Isolation, Memory Loss, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rebellion, Recovered Memories, Short Chapters, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 05:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26468041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rmw17/pseuds/rmw17
Summary: Part One of a human au about Lapis Lazuli's fucked up life.Lapis Lazuli has a lot of time to think.
Series: The Good Ship You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1924147
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Vomit

Lapis Lazuli was pretty sure she was in hell.

Her whole body ached. More than ached. It was screaming in pain. It’s screaming was so loud she could actually hear it. No, it wasn’t. Of course, it wasn’t. That would be ridiculous. The only thing that was screaming was her. She only began to realize this when a new sharp pain spread across her cheek with an audible cracking sound.

“Shut up already!”

The slap forced her out of her head as she tried to open her eyes in an attempt to find the owner of the harsh voice she was just introduced to. It didn’t take her long to learn that her eyes were swollen shut. She tried to speak instead, but all that came out was a strangled, broken cry. She heard a huff of annoyance as chair legs scraped against the floor, followed seconds later by the slamming of a door.

Left alone in the silence she felt the urge to try and analyze her surroundings, but stuck in the dark, and in far too much pain to move, she settled on analyzing herself. She couldn’t see, she couldn’t move, she couldn’t speak. All she could do was feel. She could feel pain more intense than anything she’d felt in the 14 years of her life up until that point. The pain invaded every part of her body. She tried to identity something, anything, that didn’t hurt, but she couldn’t. Even her insides seemed to hurt. Her throat was raw beyond belief, presumably from the all screaming she had done. As she thought about the pain in her throat she realized there was an unusual taste present too. It took her very little time to identify the taste. Blood. She barely had time to register the relief she felt when she realized she wasn’t choking on it before the exhaustion hit her.

The thought of resisting the desire to sleep crossed her mind only briefly before she felt herself start to slip away into unconsciousness.

* * *

She felt awake. This time there was no screaming. She got the distinct feeling that it was supposed to be quiet, but she could definitely hear her heart pounding in her ears. She was still in pain, but she was almost glad she couldn’t see anything because she was already overwhelmed with sensation to the point of nausea.

Before she had the opportunity to comprehend the implications of that train of thought she found her body forcing itself to roll to the side in an attempt to not choke on the bile that was suddenly rising in her throat. Her chest heaved and her stomach lurched as she failed to suppress the vomit burning its way up her esophagus and out of her mouth onto what she hoped was a surface other than the one she’d been lying on. She curled in on herself as much as her aching body would allow while she trembled and tried her best to cough and spit up the remnants of stomach acid and blood in her mouth.

Trying to call out for help only resulted in a second wave of nausea followed by more puking. She laid on her side, inhaling the burning scent of the past contents of her stomach, as she felt her consciousness begin to fade again.

Lapis Lazuli was definitely in hell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Panic Attack

Lapis was awake again. She couldn’t smell vomit anymore. She hoped that meant someone cleaned up after her and not that she was losing her sense of smell now too. The pain she had been feeling seemed less severe, but she wasn’t sure if she’d gotten used to it or if it had actually faded.

She heard a door creak open, followed by two voices she didn’t completely recognize.

The first voice was soft, “All I’m saying is, she’s virtually unresponsive. We’ve tried everything to get her to talk, but I’m not even convinced that she can.”

The second voice sounded fed up with something, “Well of course she can’t, have you looked at her face? I’m shocked she’s still alive. This isn’t worth the resources we’re putting into it.”

Someone sat down on what she could only assume was a chair very close to her head.  
“Tell that to White.”  
She heard a sigh and then, for a brief moment, things were silent.  
The soft voice spoke again, “That’s what I thought.”

“We should just give her back to Pink. Keeping her here is useless.”

A hum of affirmation was the only response Lapis heard before the person beside her stood up. Footsteps got quieter and a door closed.

She tried to make a connection between what was said and anything she could remember, but she wasn’t sure if she could remember anything in the first place. Eventually, she managed to pull images of red, sounds of shouting, and the feeling of more pain from her mind. A fresh wave of exhaustion washed over her and she let herself fall back into another dreamless sleep.

* * *

Waking up was beginning to get frustrating. 

Lapis wondered how much she’d slept since she first woke up. She wondered how much of the time she’d been awake she could actually remember. She wondered where she was and why she still hurt so damn bad. 

She wished she could open her eyes and try to put things together. Carefully, she tried to lift one of her arms. Pain shot from the tips of her fingers all the way to her shoulder blade and she let her hand drop back onto what she could finally identify as bed sheets. She wanted to cry out but all she could manage was a stifled sort of groan.

She tried to assess the damage to her body for a second time. Feeling more awake than she had before, she could tell that several bones were broken, although she wasn’t entirely sure which ones. She thought her nose might be one of them, there were definitely more things on her face that hurt than just what she imagined were her severely blackened eyes. Her lips might have also been busted, that would lend some reason, beyond her raw throat, to her inability to speak. For the most part, the rest of her body just hurt. There were certainly many things that were broken, but all the different pain, inside and out, seemed to meld together into a general feeling of agony. 

She suddenly felt trapped. She was overwhelmed by the thought of not being able to move. She couldn’t catch her breath and wanted to hyperventilate, but it was too painful. Her chest tightened and she could feel herself getting dizzy. Her body jerked in a useless attempt to get more oxygen and she groaned again. She started to panic and that only made breathing harder. She desperately wished that she could move. She thought that if she could open her eyes her vision would be starting to go black at the edges by now. She felt helpless and completely out of control as her consciousness slipped away.

Her body was forced to relax when she passed out and she started to breathe again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided Beryls are members of Pink Diamond's court since we never really get a chance to learn much about it in canon.

Lapis opened her eyes as much as she could. The world around her was blurry and she realized that she was essentially just squinting at everything. She closed her eyes again. It took a few moments for her to get her bearings, but when she did she made note of a few things. First, she wasn’t in the same place she had been every other time she had woken up. She was somewhere that seemed to be shaking, and she was laying on something cold and hard. Second, she was surrounded by the sound of a motor running. She put those two facts together and decided she was probably in some sort of car or van, maybe a truck. Third, her limbs were braced by something. They felt stiff and even less moveable than before. Someone had given her casts. Lastly, she had been injured for multiple days at this point. She remembered more people coming to try to get her to talk. She remembered being asked about “the Crystal Gems”. She remembered trying to explain who she was. She remembered realizing she had gotten herself separated from her escort and swept up in the fighting. She remembered coming to the conclusion that she had been beaten beyond recognition and had been picked up by her own people in a last ditch effort to gather information. She remembered opening her eyes for the first time and hoping that meant the swelling in her face had gone down enough for her to be recognized. She remembered being wrong and wanting to scream. She remembered learning that her voice was more damaged than she had thought. She remembered feeling trapped and alone, unable to communicate who she was or what had happened. She remembered overhearing more conversations about her delivery to Pink (she also remembered that Pink referred to Pink Diamond, the woman in charge of the area she had been visiting). She came to the conclusion that that was what was happening right now. She was in a vehicle, being transported to Pink Diamond.

* * *

Lapis heard car doors open and forced her body to relax. She felt two people work together to pick her up and she resisted the urge to make some noise indicating her pain. She decided that pretending to still be asleep would be easier than another potential round of interrogation. The people carrying her started talking as they entered an air conditioned building.

Lapis could tell the speaker was excited, “I can’t believe they selected us to do this!”  
Their partner sounded enthusiastic too, “I know! I heard it was too short notice to send any Topazes.”  
“Do you think we’ll actually get to see Pink Diamond?”  
“I have no idea! How cool would it be if we did though?!”

Lapis tuned the voices out. She assumed they were a pair of Quartz guards. Admittedly, it was surprising that two Quartzes were being allowed to handle a mission tied directly to the Diamonds, but she figured they wouldn’t get close enough to Pink Diamond for it to matter. She would likely be passed off to someone more important at the earliest opportunity. 

As if on cue, a new voice cut into her thoughts, “Halt, state your business.”

One of the Quartzes responded, “We’re here to deliver a prisoner to Pink Diamond.”  
“Who sent you?”  
“Blue Diamond.”  
“Very well. This Beryl will take the prisoner from here.”  
A Quartz sighed as Lapis was handed off. She, once again, had to suppress making any sounds of protest when she was roughly thrown over the shoulder of a Beryl. She realized she had definitely taken the gentleness of her previous handlers for granted. While being carried away, she risked opening her eyes slightly. Things were still blurry, but she could tell the Beryl was rushing down a long hallway. She closed her eyes again when they came to a halt. She waited as the Beryl opened a door and stepped inside. 

Lapis was propped against a wall and she heard the door close. After a few seconds of silence, she opened her eyes again and did her best to glance around. The Beryl had left her alone in a seemly large white room. She couldn’t make out any of the furniture well enough to identify it, everything was white and seemed to blend together. She mentally scolded herself for thinking she would actually be taken directly to Pink Diamond. She closed her eyes again and resigned herself to waiting for someone to come get her again. As she sat in the quiet she, albeit begrudgingly, found herself already missing the background noise of the two Quartzes from before.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garnets are a non-fusion gem from Homeworld that are discussed in the Steven Universe comic book series. They are fleet commanders and Rebecca Sugar has stated that Garnet supposedly chose her name based on her fusion's similar appearance to the Homeworld gem.

Lapis didn’t remember falling asleep, but when she finally opened her eyes again she was laying in a bed. Everything around her was still white, so she assumed she was still in the same room. She was vaguely aware of the presence of something cool and wet on her forehead. Someone had clearly been in the room while she was sleeping.

A calm, level voice spoke up from outside of Lapis’s field of vision, “Oh, good. You’re awake. I was starting to worry you might sleep all day.”

Lapis grunted awkwardly in response.

“Ah, yes, you probably won’t be able to speak for a while. You were in pretty bad condition when you got here. Still are actually, can’t do much to fix you up just yet.”  
She shifted to try and see who was speaking to her.

“Tsk, now don’t do that. Be careful. Moving on your own isn’t going to be easy.”

A pair of strong hands moved Lapis into a sitting position.

“There. I hope that isn’t too uncomfortable for you.”

Lapis could make out the silhouette of a tall dark skinned woman with large, almost square shaped, hair sitting across from her. She did her best to shake her head.

“Okay, good. Well then, now that you’re awake, I might as well introduce myself. My name is Garnet.”

Lapis tilted her head in an attempt to convey confusion. A Garnet was watching her? That didn’t make any sense. She should be out in the field with her crew.

The Garnet paused and gave Lapis a look she couldn’t make out, “Hm? Oh. Oh! Of course. You don’t know where you are, do you?”

Lapis shook her head slightly again.

The Garnet laughed and leaned back in her chair, “Right. Homeworld can’t tell you what they don’t know,” she spread her arms out and smiled widely, “Welcome to the home base of the Crystal Gems!”

Lapis’s eyes widened as much as they could while she stared at the Garnet across from her. The Crystal Gems? That was ridiculous. She was being taken to see Pink Diamond. Did those ridiculous Quartzes drive her to the wrong place? There was a reason they didn’t get trusted with missions like this. Of course she was with the Crystal Gems. As if being beaten within an inch of her life and then taken prisoner by her own people wasn’t bad enough, now she was actually in the custody of the rebels who started this mess.

The Garnet was watching Lapis quietly, it felt like she was reading her mind. Lapis finally started to squirm under her gaze and she spoke up, “I see this isn’t the news you were hoping for. It seems we have misjudged your feelings towards Homeworld. I will leave you alone to think of this then. Pearl will be in later tonight to help you eat.”

Lapis watched as the Garnet got up and left the room. She sat in her shock for a while before the final words the Garnet had said began to sink in. She would get to eat. A Pearl was going to come to serve her and she would get to eat! She tried to remember the last time she had eaten anything. She had been in too much pain the past several days to notice just how hungry she was, but now that it was on her mind she realized she was starving.

* * *

The door to Lapis’s room opened after what she assumed was about an hour of solitude. A skinny girl around her height came in and took the chair the Garnet had occupied earlier. The girl had come in with a tray of food and a glass of water, both of which she sat on a table beside the bed. Lapis found herself staring at the glass of water, she hadn’t considered the last time she had anything to drink. The girl seemed to notice as she picked the glass back up and carefully brought it to Lapis’s lips to help her drink. The glass was tilted up and Lapis drank from it as the water poured into her mouth. She felt the coolness finally alleviate some of the pain in her sore throat and she drank as quickly as she could manage. 

Eventually, the girl pulled back an empty glass and spoke in a slightly high pitched voice, “Well I guess you were thirsty,” she laughed to herself, “My name is Pearl by the way. Would you like to eat now?”

Lapis nodded.

“Great.” She swapped the glass for a plate of food, “Don’t get too used to this by the way. I know what you probably think of Pearls, but I’m not like that. This is only until your arms heal enough for you to feed yourself.”

Lapis ate with the same fervor that she had drunk the water with. After she finished the Pearl helped her to lay back down, gathered up the dishes, and left the room with a final comment about seeing her in the morning for breakfast.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Needles

Lapis spent most of her time sleeping over what she assumed were the next several weeks based on how often she saw the Pearl. The Pearl said she was coming in 3 times a day to help Lapis eat. In the beginning, Lapis tried to keep track of the days, but it didn’t take long for her to start getting confused. She lost count of the number of times she saw the Pearl and then realized she wasn’t sure she could remember every encounter to begin with.

Days and weeks blended together and the Pearl grew more distant. She made less efforts to speak with Lapis, their one sided conversations faded away and Lapis couldn’t decide how she felt about it. On one hand, it felt more natural for the Pearl to exist silently in her presence, but on the other hand, she found herself missing the feeling of having someone talk to her. She silently hoped that the Garnet would return for another conversation, but she never did. 

One morning the Pearl came in with breakfast and a syringe. She fed Lapis without a word, as had become the norm for the two. Lapis eyed the syringe cautiously as she ate and if the Pearl noticed, she showed no indication of it. After the Pearl set the dishes back down she put a hand on Lapis’s exposed upper arm and picked up the syringe. Lapis tried to jerk away, but the Pearl had a strong grip and before she knew it there was a needle in her arm. It was removed almost as quickly as it had gone in and Lapis stared at the Pearl in some odd mixture of anger, confusion, and fear. 

She watched the Pearl’s blank expression as her eyelids started to feel heavy. All she could think before she fell into a deep sleep was that this was not going to end well.

* * *

Lapis woke back up in the same white room she had been in before. She felt cold and exposed. She instinctively wrapped her arms around herself and her eyes widened. She glanced down at her body and made a small noise of surprise when she realized her casts were gone. She lifted one arm and opened and closed her hand experimentally. The action resulted in a dull pain as her muscles ached from neglect. Her skin looked paler than she remembered and her muscle definition was almost entirely gone. She carefully sat up and looked down at her legs. They looked weak and pale, the sight brought tears to Lapis’s eyes. She had never seen her body in such a seemingly helpless condition.

She wiped the tears away and shifted until her legs hung over the edge of her bed. She set her bare feet on the cold tile floor and pushed herself into an almost standing position. She was braced against the bed with her arms on the mattress and her legs trembled under the unfamiliar weight. She could only hold herself up for a couple of seconds before she had to awkwardly crawl back onto the bed. 

This was awful. She couldn’t support her own weight. Her body was too weak for her to fully stand, let alone try to walk anywhere. Her casts were off and her body was healing, but she was still trapped. She laid back down and curled up on her side. She made herself as small as possible and shut her eyes tight forcing a few tears to roll down her face.

* * *

Lapis opened her eyes and was met with the sight of a tray of food on the table beside her. She sat up and looked around the room for the Pearl, but no one was there. She reached out for the tray and tried to pick it up. Her hands shook under the weight of the tray as she lifted it off the table. She pulled it in towards herself as quickly as she could for fear of spilling her food on the floor. She managed to get the tray to her lap where she set it down.

She stared down at the food with a frown on her face. She picked up some food with a trembling hand and slowly brought it up to her mouth. It took her far longer than usual to eat on her own and she felt frustrated as she moved the tray back to the table. She couldn’t walk, she had no idea where she was, and she was only just barely able to feed herself. She felt scared and alone and helpless and she hated it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short chapter this time.

Lapis laid in her bed staring up at the ceiling. She hadn’t seen another person in days. Her food was always brought in while she was sleeping now, so she assumed the Crystal Gems were watching her in some way. If she’d had the strength she would’ve torn the room apart in search of any cameras, but as things were she could still barely stand on her own. She spent most of her time asleep in the hopes of simply passing some time, but she was still inevitably awake during at least part of the day. When she was unfortunately awake, Lapis would spend her time either struggling to feed herself, attempting to stand without the help of bracing herself against her mattress, or laying down and trying to remember how she got here. It was the latter of those things that she was doing right now. 

She watched the ceiling above her with a burning intensity as she willed herself to recall anything from before she had first woken up. She had been sent to Pink Diamond’s district in a nearby city. She was there to survey the area and report back to Blue Diamond about it’s general layout and whether or not it was worth investing much resources in. There was a rebellion among some of Pink Diamond’s people, but Lapis had been told that the sector she was visiting had remained mostly untouched by the violence. As a safety measure, she was sent with two escorts. Although they were largely a formality, she was still in training and the loss of younger members, especially ones of her status, was not the sort of thing Homeworld was interested in risking.

That was what she had put together so far. She groaned and pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes as she felt a headache start to form. She wanted to know what had gone wrong to land her in this situation, but every time she tried to remember she would end up with a splitting headache and have to stop thinking about it. She curled up on her side and pulled the covers up over her head to block out the light. She knew the fact that the light was never turned off had only been making her more tired. Her sleep was always restless and she had no concept of the time of day or how long her waking hours lasted. She almost considered herself lucky because of it, as the constant fatigue had made sleeping more often relatively easy. The time she spent awake was miserable, but she was able to keep said time to a minimum and for that she was thankful.


End file.
